I have always been a positive writer. When I write in my journal, online, or anywhere I don't like write about bad things that are going on. Mostly because I find it very embarrassing. Words feel so permanent when they are written.
My mind is constantly thinking and sometimes I have some pretty "crazy thoughts". I have learned that writing down my thought, they lose that power they have over me. Same goes with saying it out loud. But for me I get too embarrassed, so I write it down.
I am a very easily embarrassed person, it is hard for me to be seen negatively. I don't mind simple occasional teasing or things like that. It's when people know about my personal problems, my fears, or my insecurities. I know that no one is perfect. I write down my thoughts because my thoughts control my actions. When my actions (good ones) are hindered because of my thoughts, that is when writing has come to be very helpful. Now I am not a novel writer, I am not deep or poetic. My writing can be confusing, but the point is that I try.
I know not all problems are fixed by writing it down. For me I understand things better, I can figure out how I am going to say something when I write it down.
Even writing this is a leap for me, but in a way it has helped me gather some thoughts and take a step forward.
It's a NEW YEAR. Time to regroup and think about how to live and love better. Of course we don't have to wait for a new year to roll around to make decisions like this or decide we want to be better. But it is a good reminder to do so.
I've though long and hard about what I want out of 2015. Who I want to be, what I want for my family, how I want my relationship with my Father in Heaven. Well here is what I have come up with so far. This year I am going to work on letting myself be happy! (trust me it can be a real struggle). The decision to be happy starts with ourselves. Instead of waiting for someone else to do it for me, I am deciding to be positive and happy. I am going to think positively about myself. I am completely a "words of affirmation" kind of person. I need to hear good things about myself. That is my main love language. But I am going to do my part on thinking positively about myself . This year we will be blessed to be adding another beautiful baby girl to our family. I am beyond thrilled. I am already so excited to meet her. It is our sincere prayers that we can move back closer to our family in AZ sometime this year. Chances are looking pretty darn good right now. This year I want to be better at saving money and spending more wisely. I was recently called to be the Primary President in my ward and I really do love it, so far. I am going to do my best this year to help strength the testimonies of the children in the Harlingen 1st ward primary. And serve my Heavenly Father with the best of my abilities. I am going to work on spending my time more wisely. I am going to spend more time teaching my daughter(s) and playing with them.
Last of all and most importantly I am going to work on being a better wife. Keeping my house more clean, going and doing things that Kade enjoys, and being more patient.
