Something you can only learn by doing, is being a mother. Someone can tell you over and over, how you will love your child, how tired you will be, how hard it's going to be, or how happy they will make your day. Prepare all you want but until you have that precious perfect being in your life, it's impossible to fully understand. I was very nervous to have a baby, I was nervous that I wouldn't be able to handle the lack of sleep, that I wouldn't be patient enough for the crying, that I wouldn't be able to take care of her the way she needs. It's was a perfectly reasonable feeling, as soon as my little girl was here, I knew it was going to be ok.
I think back to the first couple of weeks after I had Blakely, she would wake up for a good hour in the middle of the night and I would get up and hold her and walk her around. It might sound crazy, but I am grateful everyday for those hours. Those hours of complete love, she needed me and trusted me, it was perfect love and perfect trust.
Everyday Blakely grows and changes in someway. I can see Heavenly Father's miracle of life when I see her.
I love getting to spend all day everyday with her! No, things aren't always easy, sometimes she cries for no reason, sometimes she won't go to sleep and I am beyond exhausted, sometimes she won't eat and get grumpy, but I survive. I know Heavenly Father is going to help me raise one of His children and I have a wonderful husband who is an amazing father.
I wouldn't change having this little girl for anything. She makes me laugh and smile everyday! She teaches me to take care of someone else besides myself. She is the best example to me of being happy and loving others. Blake might be shy at times around people but for the most part she loves crawling up to some stranger at church or smiling at everyone at the store. It doesn't matter what they look like or what language they speak she wants to be their friend.
Family is truly an incredible masterpiece that God has put in the plan of Salvation. While at times family may be a trial they can also be our strength and teach us so much.
